Friday The 13th - Part 3 (DVD 2002)

Originally filmed in 3-D, Friday the 13th Part 3 is best remembered in the pop cultural lexicon of filmdom lore as being the movie to first showcase the immortal Jason Voorhees hiding behind the visage of his now-trademark hockey goalie mask. This third edition of the long-running, money-making horror series comes replete with a constant barrage of gimmick-laden 3-D effects, which translates into nothing more than having the home DVD audience get poked in the eye with every conceivable pointed object seemingly available to the filmmakers at the time.

The makers' decision to have a different and increasingly weirder murder weapon used each time is novel, but it neglects the fact that there is more to a murder scene than just numerous plunges of the blade and graphic spurts of blood; where is that missing sense of subtle tension created through imaginative use of light and paranoid shadow, where are the characters whose terror-filled plight we have a modicum of concern for in the first place? Indeed, we loved these mindless slasher-syndrome films in the 1980s, but then we grew up and found ourselves unbelievably agreeing with the typical parental assessment that these films were, in fact, utterly incompetent pieces of celluloid trash, with little to no artistic, cultural, or even intrinsic entertainment value.

Reworking the same cursory plot as its financially successful predecessors and successive sequels, that dastardly, unstoppable killer Jason again prowls the Lake Crystal area (AKA "Camp Blood"), stabbing, slicing and skewering those assorted pesky teenagers with a robotic proficiency. This time around, the mayhem and slaughter occurs at a lakeside cottage and barn in the woods. After the opening credits literally come leaping out at you in 3-D, we are introduced to the eight potential victims, all part of that stereotypical horror movie mainstay of young, carefree vacationers headed to the woods for a weekend of fun but unwittingly thrust into a stalk 'n slash spectacle.

These stupid teen characters exist wholly as interchangeable fodder, just asking for eventual swift dispatching via means as varied as a red hot poker through the torso, a knitting needle through the back of the head and out through the mouth, a spear through the eye, a pitchfork through the neck, a machete through the entire body, and for the especially bloodthirsty, there is a scene of a young man getting the side of his head crushed, causing his eyeball to pop out of its socket and fly toward the camera in campy 3-D. That's right folks, there is plenty of grisly murderin' fun to be had by all here.

Who will be left alive by the end of the movie? Will master Voorhees finally be stopped and destroyed once and for all, or will he return for more summer camp shenanigans? Are you kidding, does a Jason spit in the woods?