Dawn Of The Dead (DVD 2004)

Let it be known that from this day forward, lo, we shall never again piss and moan prematurely about any horror film remake. No more shall we shake our fists and defend the dignity and the memory of the sacred original, claiming that the proposed remake (or "re-imagining") will be nothing but a pointless, clumsy attempt to make some cash and is yet another sign of the lack of original ideas in La-La-Land. Yes, we are changed, nay, moved.

We first suspected that the "re-imagining" machine might be better designed than we originally thought when last year's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ended up being a pretty decent horror outing. And now, with the exciting, intense, glorious Dawn of the Dead, we have a new mantra. Go, Hollywood! Re-imagine EVERYTHING.

We exaggerate, of course, but just a little. Horror film fans rejoice: Dawn of the Dead is quite the breathtaking, blood-soaked ride. The story is simpler than a first-grade math test: Zombies have overrun a small town in Wisconsin, and a few lone survivors shack up in the local mall and try to stay alive. That's about it. And it never, ever stops for a breath.

Unlike its 1978 predecessor, this film doesn't have a thought in its head. No scathing commentary on American consumerism, conformism or militarism here, and that's not a bad thing. The only thing this movie is interested in is being as scary, violent and gory as possible, and it delivers on all counts. The acting is surprisingly good for a film of this type, due to a talented cast working with an above-average script by Scooby scribe James Gunn. This is commercial director Zach Snyder's first feature, and Hollywood would do well to keep him employed in this genre as much as possible.

There are several in-jokes for the fans, including cameos from some of the original Dawn cast, most notably makeup effects wizard Tom Savini as an irritated, yet strangely calm, sheriff. Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Jake Weber and especially Michael Kelly as the obligatory jerk who later redeems himself all make strong impressions. Our new favorite girlfriend, Lindy Booth, sure is fun to look at, even if her character does jump in the sack with the dreamy young security guard a little too quickly. Ty Burrell provides comic relief as the pompous ass who's just begging to get his comeuppance. Only Mekhi Phifer seems a little lost, mostly due to the script's refusal to really cater to his character's found-religion arc. Hopefully we'll see some more scenes with him on the eventual DVD, as the holes in his plot may have been due to cutting for length and pacing.

The gore is impressive, to say the least. Apparently, the film had to go before the MPAA four times before it got its R rating, and it shows. This is a mainstream studio film being as gory as it possibly can in this day and age, and that's something we rarely get to see anymore. The zombies are spectacularly well done, moving at super-speed and growling and snarling via the most expensive sound-design software that money can buy. Even the gimmicks with the highest "Oh, come on" quotient, such as the zombie baby, actually work really well due to Snyder's polished and economic approach to the material.

Will this be considered a classic in 25 years, like its predecessor? Probably not. Dawn '04 is very much a product of its time - a thrilling, fast-paced, MTV-style (in a good way) romp that doesn't really have anything to say beyond entertaining you for 98 or so minutes.